Zem wrote:
July 11th
With Zargofoop guarding the airship, the party plus one noble paladin named Varick Sunreep, one singing bard named Tartleton, and one forgetful pseudodragon named Yabon, the party descended into the cave of the green dragon Kaxalattic on the 8th day of Nightal. The cave was located on the cliffs below the white city of the goatfolk.
I do miss that none of the characters are devoted sluts, as Cab normally plays. It would have been pretty awesome to have someone hitting on a goat girl.
Sadly out of character for all of us.
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A goatman, Nartal, stood watching quietly from a lookout position on the cliff. He was too far from the party to hear their argument over how to cross the 120 feet of dark water in the cave.
Voyeur goat.
That water had level draining fish in it, so obviously we had to be very careful about it.
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Nartal did not hear their attempts at getting someone else to go in the water first.
Look, the monk will miss a level less than the rest of us.
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He did not hear the various plans of using the rod of transposition without drowning.
I just figured, if I transpose the monk into position, then that would be really funny for us.
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All he saw was the party emerge about thirty minutes later and walk into the town. About 45 minutes later, they reappeared on the trail down the cliff face carrying a small rowboat.
Shit, we forgot to sell the rowboat back.
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Inside the cave, matters were far more exciting. The party came to a 60ft wide deep chasm.
You mean a forty five minute wide chasm.
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There were featherfalls, long jumps, and the occasional banging into a cliff like a huge pendulum running out of room.
At least I had haste memorized! I thought about trying to rocket jump us over with the fireballs, thus proving that when all one has is a hammer, everything looks like a nail.
(fireball applies no pressure, I know, I know, but I still had to *think* of it)
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Eventually, though, the party crossed and found themselves facing many crystalline trolls.
Aw, it wasn't that many!
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The party was victorious, and there was great debate over exactly whether all the trolls could live indefinitely at the bottom of the chasm by eating their own arms, which would then regenerate.
Actually, they can get OUT of the chasm.
Well, I mean, there needs to be at least one GIRL troll, but given enough time...
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Though they mocked their bard, it seemed he was the only fellow who knew how to climb.
It is a little surprising that the rogue couldn't, but then the rogue has to have a great deal of skills, and he might be pretty focussed on them. I mean, his search, spot, and listen are all damn near maxxed right?
Whatever, rogues suck. Maybe he could sneak attack a troll by standing between three trolls, that's a good class ability right?
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Upwards and upwards he went, and he managed to use the rope of stone to help the rest of the party come up.
I'm more impressed with the Rope Of Sudden Stiffy actually having a use besides bedroom antics betwixt Sunny and Signy. It was dangerously close to being useful to crossing the 60 foot chasm, but thankfully, it's only a 50 foot rope.
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There they faced a giant deep pit, or a cave going deeper into the mountain. They took the cave, and there was a mildly intoxicated green dragon, guarding a small hoard and two golden eggs.
Now we got to do the standard D&D tactic: cast everything that is 1 min / level first, followed by everything that 1 round per level, starting with the weaker stuff, then SUP DIGGITY DOG baller on in there.
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Kaxalattic had spent centuries in a magic prison for his mind, driving him almost insane.
No sympathy for SR 23 creatures at level 6. Oh look, one out of five spells can affect him!
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When he awoke, he found his previous treasure had been looted. Just a few weeks ago he found this wonderful place.
Was it like moving to Denver? You sleep on a friend's couch for a couple weeks while you fly around looking at all the lairs? Eventually you're like, well, this one is cheap because it's next to the goat ghetto, and the only neighbor is a nice old lich that strikes me as familiar somehow, and it might not be centrally located but the commute to rainbow kingdoms isn't *that* far....
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Suddenly he was attacked by very large humans and dwarves.
I do often wish I had even more enlarges. Well, now I can make scrolls of it because I'm not poor. Hell, maybe even get a good deal on a wand. Never be normal sized again!
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He really didn't stand a chance with that heavy drink in him and these new enemies fully prepared for battle.
He did do a decent job with the first breath weapon- but he was outnumbered hardcore.
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After his centuries of captivity and short stint of freedom, here was his end. He fought bravely to defend his new home, but eventually he was brought low. Some of his parts were harvested, and his treasure sorted, counted, and removed.
I'd like to point out that I checked his entire digestive track for gems!
And didn't find any. Ick!
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After resting some more and visiting the goat city for a time, the party tried descending into the cave. There they found a secret door. Behind that door they found another door, this one engraved with a lightning bolt. The party mistook this as a sign that lightning was needed to open it.
I didn't say anything, but I did wonder why a door would be labelled with a mechanism to open it. I mean, why even put a door then? I figured it might mean that there was something inside it related to lightning.
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...the party opened the door to find a skeletal form called Talac Gregor. He was apparently a former evil, powerful wizard of the island who lived in one of the black towers.
I dunno whether he was formerly or presently evil- with a Lich it's fight or flight, especially when his first offer is to take all your shit, and his second offer is to make you his slaves.
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He said that those who live their now, while perhaps friendlier, are incredibly weak wizards.
This was not news.
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It was Telec who helped capture Kaxalattic centuries ago, and he commented that the pirates who broke the spell for the blue gems were fools; the blue gems were glass.
This was.
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Eron offered the black robes from an ancient, powerful, much taller race that he found in a nightmarish dungeon on Gwynneth.
...And now that my role in your milleu is accomplished, Eron will be eaten by a Grue, with historical footnote: handed over the powerful robes to the lich that eats our souls (see page 534, rainbow cloaked fool).
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Then the party headed to Lantan to return the ship.
If I can grow a second dick for the monk, he can probably bang two gnomesses at once.
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As soon as they left the magical winter of Nimbral, they found real winter out on the water. They were cold, but they arrived safely in the airship. They were rewarded and asked for more help as the airship was destroyed.
I was thinking instead of ethereal sky snakes, we could probably work with a special team of low-pressure, high altitude flumphs.
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A young priest of Gond named Lankyforpot, spending a year attending the shrine to Gond at Candlekeep, had been abducted. The priests here only received word a few days ago. They would help if they could, but they are not fit to battle. Zargofoop is, actually, their strongest fighter.
I was a little sad to hear that they were all less than 7th level AFTER we handed them the airship...
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The party agreed to help after some "What's in it for us?" from the dark one.
It was a legit question- the only reason I didn't ask it is that they had proven their generosity with 50 pp per each (5000 gold per).
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They set off on the ship The Flaming Sasquatch, captained by a fierce woman with a whip.
I definitely wanted her to fight like, some sharks. They could jump on deck and she could whip them or something. I didn't really have it worked out, but it was going to rule.
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Her name was Deysi Wileen, but most of her crew call her D-W.
They call her when there's trouble-you.
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They discovered what had happened. On Nightal 8th, a ship arrived called Sandy Rum. It mostly went ignored. During the night someone attempted entering the Inner Sanctum, a protected part of the library a token is needed to enter.
My first thought was to ask to see their security footage, but then I thought better.
Obviously there's no cameras in a classified area.
I think the fact that I woke up at 4:30 that day was starting to affect me. Though I did come up with the excellent line:
"Liberty is a 17 year old stripper with the stage name 'Amber Alert'"
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These tokens are handed out to only a very few people, Khelban, Elminster, etc. By the time Ulraunt, the Keeper of the Tomes, arrived at the Inner Sanctum, no one was there. The next day the two young priests were visited by messengers from the port village. The two priests rushed down the port, and were never seen again. The messengers reported they were given the messages by a beautiful woman with green robes and long brown hair, and she fit the description of Kalina Yomaris, the sorceress who had given them a bit of a problem on Gwynneth.
No mercy for evil casters! On the bright side, mass sonic resist should probably prove helpful against her. On the downside, she's high enough level to outright *kill* somebody, and she still has the ranger lover boy.
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Ulraunt is a wizard and currently runs Candlekeep. He wishes to keep up the appearance of a haughty wizard, but he is truly distraught over the missing young priests. Very few people live here, and they are all close. Ulraunt is assisted by The First Reader, an old elf named Auremunlo.
I wondered about that- how long do elves live in your game, and when do they start looking old?
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The party decided to intercept the ship, and they are going to sea on the Flaming Sasquatch on the 13th day of Hammer, which is the dead of winter.
Look, I know that we should be like Stop: Hammertime. But we clearly don't have TIME for that.
Ok, out of puns.
For now.