September 18

The party decided that they should take a 14 day break from travel to train themselves in Krondor, the capital of the Western Realm of the Kingdom of the Isles. They men Erik von Darkmoor, the Knight-Marshall of Krondor. He was a young fellow who had clearly seen too much. The party have battled great odds and somehow come out the other side in one piece. It seemed Erik may have seen the same sort of dangers, but he was the lone survivor too often. He was in charge of rebuilding this city and defending it from Kesh. Meanwhile, Nakor the Blue Rider continued to work on his portion of it, his temple to Arch-Indar, the lost goddess of good. At no point did any member of the party inquire about why it seemed this city had been blown up. No member of the party asked why Nakor the Blue Rider, a monk in a yellow robe, was called the Blue Rider. Instead, they eagerly awaited the chance to kill things.

At about the end of their training, their chance came. Nighthawks, a guild of assassins, attacked the temple. A few students were killed, but Nakor defended himself and his disciple Aleta. Those two seemed to be the primary attackers. The party had been staying in an inn and did not arrive until the battle was over, but they followed the Nighthawks into the sewers. After a detailed search, they found an old Mockers hideout that had some gold in it. No member of the party asked what the fuck a Mocker was. Clearly, "Oh, this was a Mocker hideout" is the sort of thing they hear daily. They then took the gold and found where the Nighthawks were hiding out.

The battle that followed could have been very dangerous. The Nighthawks had somehow acquired the services of two Nightwalkers, huge undead that were turned to stone by an amazing display of gayness. A rainbow flew forth from the wizard, and there were two stone statues of Nightwalkers. After the battle, the party sold the statues.

After resting, they again shadow-walked back to LaMut and into the Hall of Worlds. Nakor headed back to the City Forever, and the party went to Pryan. They had to cut across a dying world and pondered its future. They found themselves in an abandoned house in an abandoned town on top of the jungle canopy. The rogue was a bit freaked out by walking on dense leaves. It was noon here all the time, which was odd. Night never happened, nor did afternoon, twilight, or dawn. Strangely, despite the heat and sun, they could see stars in the blue sky. The party headed to some sort of citadel on the only actual earthy surface they could find. The citadel was locked, which was no problem, but apparently empty. It was essentially a city with no one in it. A bright tower was in the center of the citadel. Brax let them into a room off the side of the center tower and flipped some large levers. The light of the tower pulsed with the levers. About two hours later, one of the stars blinked in response.

Some waiting happened for several days, though it was daylight the whole time. We presume the party got some shade during that time or they would all be very sunburned. They insisted on some rope trick ridiculousness. Still, eventually an airship arrived. It was covered in runes. Haplo and his dog were aboard. Haplo was covered in runes like his ship. Haplo was a Patryn, and he had no idea what the Council was, but he suddenly remembered it. The wizard had some interest in Haplo and this world. He discovered that this world was a shell around a small sun. The stars were other citadels, and blind giants operate the citadels. Haplo's magic worked very differently from the wizard's. The wizard changes the physical world. Haplo's rune magic sifts through the possibilities of the future and selects one, making it far more powerful. The rest of the party did not give a flying fuck about a subrace of humans called Sartans who used rune magic to sunder their world into several other worlds and imprisoned the Patryns for generations in something called the Labrynth.

The party returned to City Forever, where they met up with the Divine Alliance... all three members. They had gotten some old wizard named Merlyn, half-half cleverly named Tanis Halfelf, and a perfectly ordinary man named Eddard Stark. With the councilors assembled, Orsalan said that there was a hidden door the councilors could open, but not enter. Magic of the Valheru blocked the councilors from entering, and knowing he was safe from them the Valheru did not work too hard to seal all entrances. The hidden door was located in a distillery run by gnomes with very large ears. The leader was named Ghi, and he was very excited to meet the party. He offered them some beverages. The party should have been almost immune to the effects of the alcohol, but women just can't hold their liquor. Signy was out cold almost immediately. A day later, they tried again. The drinks were delicious, and the party bought some to carry with them as they went after the Dragon Lord. What's the point of a battle to free the interplanar space from an evil overlord if you don't have a drink to celebrate afterward? Then the party went down into the cellar and the councilors put their hands in a circle in the stone. A door opened, and the party went down a long tunnel.

They exited the tunnel into the storage area of the kitchen. They encountered some stupid wizard on a flying horse in a hallway before realizing it was their own stupid wizard. They journeyed into kitchen and found three short, plump, blue-skinned dwarves cooking things that smelled alien and delicious. The dwarves saw the party, smiled, and went back to their work.

The party explored and found the Valtin, the offspring of the Valheru. They were the guards in remarkable armor. The party thought it would be an easy fight. The party was fairly stupid on that point. They defeated the Valtin, of course, but not without losing some resources. They explored the keep and found an abandoned ball room, a throne room covered in orange, green, and trophies. They looted that a bit. They also discovered some maps of the world, including the Moonshaes. Marks on that map indicated two locations where the party realized that they had seen some ruins of the Dragon Lords. At this point the party might remember that the Dragon Lords (the Valheru) were an entire race who roamed the cosmos. Seskin is the last of them, but there were once many more of them. They might even realize that the dungeon they went through must have been the dream of a dead Valheru or something of the sort.

They also found imprisoned women of many races (no dwarves), clearly the current breeders for Seskin. Then the party went upstairs into the tower and encountered Seskin Layori, Cosmic Overlord.

The room occupies the entire floor of the main tower. It is massive. There is a throne looking out the opening of the tower over City Forever. Small tables line the inner walls with more trophies of victory. There is a golden shield with several cuts on it, large skulls, several crowns, goblets, and a silver cube. Alien banners hang around the walls, all underneath the orange and green of Seskin Layori. You can’t help but think how beautiful this would be if it were under a blue sky rather than the gray void.

Seskin Layori is primarily human in appearance, but he is about ten feet tall. He wears golden plate armor with a green tabard lined in orange over that. There is an orange star on his chest. His helm has golden dragon wings. He stands by his throne, looking at you, with his hands resting on his large sword. The sword is made from a stark white metal that you have never seen. He carries a round shield that looks bronze and is free of decoration.

“So, the tools of the new ‘gods’ have come to be destroyed… again. I would tell you to leave and never return, but I know your weak minds cannot resist the tricks of the gods. I will destroy you and that sword, and soon I will destroy your gods. I subjugated your races before, and I think I will try to remember you so I can eliminate your kinds entirely. You reek of Faerun, and Faerun will soon reek of death.”

He moves with unearthly grace and power. You can’t help but feel fear.

The battle is joined...

Like, no one MENTIONED it? We are extraplanar guests, they could hook us up with the local news a bit. "This reality is carbon based, typically magical, and today will be smoky with a chance of impoverished ninja attack!"
We also fought "Keshan dog soldiers" and I did NOT make this joke: http://tinyurl.com/2emxd68, and when we fought Night Hawks no one even brought up http://tinyurl.com/282cxav. Give us some credit!

Also I would point out that on our way in we found a group of people try to blow stuff up. Pretty clearly it was explodededed because there was a war. Someone also mentioned trying to bring a goddess back by making a statue of her, which gave me (out of character) pause for a brief moment, before I thought that as religious notions go, that's pretty darned reasonable.


If only they had been a bit more prompt they would not have had to deal with the excellent prismatic spray.


Who also wasn't on screen very much. By the way, if Nakor actually mixed it up in the fight we would have had a lot more to talk about, based on his presumably new-to-us fighting style. Instead he was sort of like, ah, yes, adventures doing fully ludicrous shit in our sewers, carry on, carry on.



You do have me here. I didn't even think to question it. I guess I figured a Mocker is something that regurgitates gold into sealed room, then transcends reality, leaving no trace of itself.



I *know* how they did it. This crew of 15th level rogues presumably gained the services of the Nightwalkers by selling ALL OF THEIR EARTHLY POSSESSIONS. Poorest group of high level PC classes anywhere. Hence my question of whether this was based on a 1st edition campaign...

Also, rolling double ranged fort-save-or-petrify on the creatures whose turns took like five full minutes as your eyes darted up and down a page? Not gonna be sad about that.



They'll make some rich member of society very happy! "Rarrr I"m an undead!"


By the way, I think I can make the nice house soon, once I find the spell. http://www.d20srd.org/srd/spells/magesM ... ansion.htm will let us hang out in style. Unseen Servant doesn't explicitly state it, but I'm pretty sure the "staff of near-transparent servants (as many as two per caster level), liveried and obedient, wait upon all who enter" means free hand-jobs from the sexy ghost servants. Yes indeed gentlemen, 7th level spell access means we have arrived!



There's entirely too much Neutral Bored in the party and not enough Chaotic Good. Oh well. We can still go back and end slavery in that silly arabesque land.

Also note- I've been trying to get some exotic specimens to bring back for study, of animals and plants. Smoky Confinement is my method of transporting these things. I kept asking but it was sorta waved away. Lemme know if I've found something entertaining or cute to bring back to Toril. Make a jackelope? Or something that can be bred into Aetheric Sky Snakes later. Currently my list is just "Pregnant Astral Dog". We need to do better!



At long last, Phantom Steed makes a horse that can fly! A hover-horse! Wheeeee! Also it has a move of 240.


I was up in the air on it. I think I would actually like to get a wand of haste at this point, because it sucks to look down and notice I only brought one- failing that, I should at least have scribed a couple haste scrolls, but everything just seems so expensive. Of course I did brew that above average in cost poison for the rogue that won't be helpful on this particular adventure at all.



That was the one with the naked Signy poster right? What a freaky dead Valheru!


I can't explain why, but this scares me the most.

This reminds me of a South American dictator for some reason.


Looking at my spell list, I can't tell if "Enlarge" is crossed off or not. Did I enlarge someone in the "sons of the valheru" fight? Or did I make a big monk while waiting at the door?

*golf clap*


Nice. I really thought this was one of our more creative let's-get-some-money schemes. I mean, c'mon, how many art museums are going to have two authentic Nightwalker statues!? Freakin' badass! Although, my chaotic neutral self would really like to find out where these things are stored, then hire the services of a spellcaster who knows Stone To Flesh.


I really like the idea of this spell, but even this freakin' half-demon is perturbed by the fact that our wizard (who, admittedly, probably had some challenges getting even hookers to spend time with him) is claiming the most useful aspect of this spell is unearthly handjobs. And I almost fucked a 5,000 year old dead chick.


I'm really sad about this. I can't wait to use some of that badass poison.

Closer to 8,000 years old.


BTW, I don't know what the joke about Keshian Dog Soldiers is supposed to be. Those and the Nighthawks are straight out of some fantastic books. Being creative was less convenient than ripping off ideas.

Nakor probably should have been fighting. Instead, he was eating an orange. Vitamin C is very important.

You are missing the as many as two per caster level part. That's like, TWENTY EIGHT of them. You could be like a multi-dicked hentai demon and these fake sex-servants could still hook you up. Still, long term, it's more efficient just to teleport over to violet. More to the point, Rope Trick and Magnificent Mansion will work almost anywhere, but Rope Trick means you snuggle next to a dwarven monk in an extradimensional puppy-pile, while Mordenkainen's Magnificent Mansion is the first "here, create an inn to spend the night in" spell that is actually an upgrade. You get your own room! We are clearly moving up in the world.

Also note that Eron has a very nice Charisma! But sometimes you are in a dungeon and just need a break. Example: you wake up, cast spells for 100 seconds straight, and are good to go back to sleep.



I'm just saying we could have been dicks and made really awful jokes, and we didn't!

Yeah, I know, I just don't know who that guy is in the picture after the comment about dogs. I get the Nighthawk bit, obviously. If it were a picture of Michael Vick I'd get it, but... errr... I have no idea who that is or why it has anything to do with dogs.

Check the file name. Apparently the name (first or last) of the creature is the picture is "Kesha". It's a bit of a stretch.

Well it is a good thing I did not make that joke then, because apparently no one here would have gotten it.