In 3.X, Zem and I tried to operate off of a
strict whitelist for classes and feats: that is, we listed which classes and feats were allowed, from a huge list of WotC stuff. Picking allowed classes is a pretty reasonable task to set for a DM, picking allowed feats ahead of time was pretty damned hard. For spells we both took the lazy way out: we allowed a set that was pretty well known to each of us, with instructions to ask for anything that didn't already have a ruling on it. Then, we both layered house rules on top of that.
This time, I'm going to try to take an even lazier approach. For classes, I provided a strict whitelist. For feats and spells, I'm generally allowing the following books, with a caution that certain things may be banned for flavor or power concern. Note that spells outside of this list can exist, as per normal rules (a character, NPC or PC, can always research a novel spell), and feats generally cannot. Adding a feat is more like a house rule, and while of course I will be adding some E6 feats (we're playing E6, we are expected to provide our own capstones and E6 generic expansion feats), I hope to keep the number of feats beyond what is in these books to a small number.
Allowed documents for feats and spells:
Advanced Class Guide
Advanced Player's Guide
Core Rulebook
Pathfinder Unchained
Occult Adventures
Ultimate Combat
Ultimate Magic
Ultimate Intrigue
Where can you find these? Five places.
First, you can go to a community site that has feats and spells listed by category (usually the best way to search them), with a mention of the book's abbreviaton in a column. This is probably your BEST way to access these when building a character, or just gaining system familiarity. These also list feats that aren't in my allowed list: while these are not allowed by default, you can always ask.
http://www.d20pfsrd.com/feats/http://www.d20pfsrd.com/magic/all-spells/Note that this site has ads.
Second, you can go to Paizo's website. This lets you browse by book. Not every book makes it there in a timely fashion. This is ideal when you want to browse by source. There' no annoying ads on this page.
http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/Third, you could simply buy the book.
Fourth, you could reasonably simply buy the PDF. The PDFs are around 10 dollars, and are available for download indefinitely.
Fifth and less legally, you can probably find a way to torrent everything. Given how many hoops Paizo has jumped through to make their content available and open, I feel this is not as necessary as it was in the past.
I don't have any plans to compile feats or spells because the existing resources are so very good, and are kept updated when errata hits.
Banned and special case feats:
Leadership (Core Rulebook). This is always a special case feat in my games, even in E6, where it would normally be banned entirely by level requirement.
Antagonize - BAN. Taunts are banned.
Evolved Companion - BAN. Evolutions are for eidolons.
Evolved Summon Monster - BAN. Evolutions are for eidolons.
Anything else that grants evolutions to anything that is not an eidolon - BAN.
Racial Heritage - BAN. This is a mile of rulings for a foot of cheese and an inch of gameplay. Fuckit.
Feats referencing rules we don't have - BAN. Clearly, if a feat references a mechanic not in play, we don't have it.
Extremely Weak Feats - BAN. This is subjective, but if I think you are selecting a feat that is totally useless, I will simply ban the feat. My memories are mostly of feats that are too strong. In a game where I had full system mastery, I would have a set of houserules for each feat I thought was too weak, to bring it up to par. Very few feats fall into this category.
