The setting opened on The World Fair, an event held every 5 to 15 years. The site of the fair is the outskirts of the city of Mellior, a city on the coast of Dulal. Dulal is notable for its distrust of magical tyranny, represented in part by its Balthran Deniers, a group of dedicated counterspell mages. This makes it one of a few ideal sites for the fair, as the Balthran Deniers and the local knightly order make for a secure area. The World Fair is visited by powerful folks (or their appointees) from around the world- some to exchange ideas, others to exchange gold and goods. It also serves as a meeting place for adventurers, and has temporary free housing to those who pass muster with the overseers. Of the many adventurers, nobles, villains, heroes, polymorphed great wyrm red dragons, and surgically altered master rogues, our story focuses on some of the participants of “tent E-5” (the Arcatans do have a single character for 5, but “E” is just the Engrish version of the fifth letter of their alphabet).

The initial inhabitants of the tent:

Alenka Thatcher- A likable but distant lass, she hails from central Arcata. Those who once loved her betrayed her, and her journey here was to see if easy profits could be made from easy marks (and we all know Mark is easy!). A place like this offers much to an adventurous girl whose solitary and brutish life has left her poor- and with experience and allies, those who seek to oppress her in the future will have their own fates rendered nasty and short. With disdain but also a sense of justice, she seeks to gain profit from those who would harm her, but is cautious about harming those who would aid or ignore her- a sense of honor with limits, of course, but where do they lie?

Morgrim Doomhammer- A natural seeker of power, Morgrim's initial forrays into such things ended with a time as a charmed servant. Originally hailing from the fierce Firehold dwarves, whose mountains serve as the first and best barrier against the monstrous creatures from the north, his journeys after being freed by a band of noble adventurers (Sleier, Kyabetsu Quigby, Crug, Alariel) in northern Zeugeria (aka, south of where he originally hailed from), he was thoroughly dispelled and left with an initial spellbook in Exta. A bit of research and getting his chronological bearings, combined with his newfound ability to manipulate reality with words and thoughts, led him to the rational conclusion that his best bet at learning more with his meager gold supply would be to either return to the Firehold, where he could slowly gain arcane power, of some note with the moderate rarity of wizardly dwarves- or to seek allies and novelties at the largest meeting of powerful vagabonds and adventurers across Arcata. The choice seemed clear, until he recalled the powerful Olphric- while capable of mentally enslaving Morgrim for years, and defending his hidden tower from common threats, he had not been capable of defending himself from the onslaught of a coordinated team. Quigby, a fumbling wizard of middle years who had been kicked from Zem tower, would not have been able to challenge his smooth casting and encyclopedic knowledge of spells. The stupid sorcerer Kyabetsu could not have challenged him either, with a smattering of fire as his only offense. But all working together, they had somehow managed to overcome him, and with no casualties. Was it coincidence that his master's last spells that he attempted to cough out, overheard as he huddled in squalor, had been interrupted by the woosh of Alariel's adamantine tipped arrows? Unlikely. Morgrim set westward, making his mind up to deal with the overly chipper races as best he could.

Lithonian Erehuran- Born to the fair Ilyan elves, famed for their dispassionate wizards and aloof natures, Lithonian found himself the subject of divine commandment while still flush with youth. Latukefu, an elven deity older than the world itself, would not become intimately involved unless the matter is dire indeed. Armed with his mother's longbow, divine grace, and a burning belief, he reluctantly leaves the city he was raised in, full of stone buildings that trees have grown straight through, and follows his visions to the westernmost corner of Arcata. Along the way, he hears that his likely destination is the cite of the World Fair, a gathering place frequented by most of the races that count themselves civilized. Obviously not a coincidence, he times his arrival with his best guess of the prophetic dreams he received.

Gahn Keichi- Keichi was a war orphan born in Elata, a town in northern Zeugeira, a "lucky" escapee from one of the early battles. Raised in the House of the Blood Moon, he knows much of combat, honor, and obligation, but his lessons of subtlety have yet to make any impact. Will he learn the ways he was raised too, while in exile? Will he fall on his quest? Or will he simply use strength of arms to have his own way with fate? Thus far, he has resisted the temptations of the west, even the ones that seem familiar, his youthful determination still inviolate.

Also:

"Axetober", a half orc from the southern Teryeal expanse. While most half orcs are born from rape, his mother willing chose an orc as her mate- and chose also to live among the orcs, a situation that was only stable for a few brief years, until the tribe came under siege by a patrol from Che-dra. Taken away in the dead of night by his mother, the two eventually lived near the northern border of civilized Arcata for years. He is here to test his might, and to see all the wonderful people with the smooth skin and tiny teeth.

Sean Fralish- a young Denier who has some experience in town skirmishes and enforcing the magical law of Dulal, he has taken leave to be present at the fair as a normal participant. Somewhat friendly, he finds dwarves a bit alien and wizardly dwarves from other lands definitely worthy of supervision. Perhaps they would grow beards on human women, so as to mate with them more effectively?

Srelindel Nensollas- another Ilyan elf, this one obviously unlike her peers. She lives in the forest, as some must for the sake of simple security, but most Ilyan prefer the comfort of a bed to a life of leaves. Gifted with a pure heart but not the social experience or cunning to pierce the duplicity of others, she makes her way by simply not having much worth taking, beyond a nice set of (officially issued) swords. She takes an immediate liking to Lithonian.

Thentrassen- a half elf sorcerer arriving a day late, he has only introduced himself briefly. He is visibly nervous around the full elves in the tent- an unlikely event, certainly!

"Orchid"- A pretentious young woman who looks like she is from Miara (the rural eastern portion of Arcata), but wears makeup and clothes in the styles of the Voriphans. Trained and vicious with a plain greatsword, she seems possessed of great appetites and a strong desire for fame- or at least, to be adored. Her hair is half black and long, half white and spiked, an expensive hairstyle to maintain almost anywhere. Her hair, like her dress, is clearly more worn and battered than she would prefer. She seems equally interested in shopping for clothes as she is in disappearing on suspected trysts with strangers.

Caleb Finnagin- Honorbound and newly sworn to the Knights of the Copper, a knightly order with most of its members in Dulal, Caleb is definitely interested in adventuring in the time off that he has. He quickly recruits as much of the tent as he can when he finds a poster discussing lawbreakers in the town itself. He is friendly and loyal, and willing to give his fellow adventurers respect despite their eccentricities.

They are soon joined by:

Rigby Twigman- A failure of a pixie, whose playful but unwise antics ended in the maiming of the love of his young life, and the death of her father. Captured while seeking herbs by a canny slaver and held for years in captivity, local unrest resulted in his transport across the widest ocean on Caligo- no longer in Queris, his life changed for the worse with a new master- but the incompetence of his new master allowed him a brief moment's respite, and he was able to escape. He found himself in Mellior, his freedom only days old when the World Fair begins. Having nothing on his body except for an apple sack, some quickly scavenged samples of the drug he is attempting to wean himself off of, a wooden longsword, a hastily constructed pixie longbow, and a +1 tura gem he pickpocketed from the monster loot table, he sets out to greet the world. And by greet, I mean, "exploit the living shit out of, because he is invisible and flying".

The story opens in tent E-5, with greetings exchanged as everyone has traveled. Introductions are made. Morgrim immediately distrusts the stupid and crude Axetober, and successfully stares him down when he tries to be imposing. The Ilyan immediately hit it off, babbling in elven when alone and accented Arcatan in public. Alenka is polite, but makes no demands on her bunkmates. Keichi and Morgrim immediately distrust Orchid, and Sean immediately distrusts Morgrim- but despite these misgivings, the group is largely friendly. Several head out to the hastily constructed alehuts, with Alenka spotting a Nilak who had thought that maybe that dwarf could spare half his material wealth, and was not aware at all that a human would be watching from the shadows. Morgrim, happy in his continued possession of his coin, also rejects the advances of a half-Pallian streetwalker (who would later be rejected by Keichi). Caleb, Keichi, and Morgrim happily drink the pretty good ale, while Alenka looks for one of her targets. She finds Lairn, who claims to be a bodyguard, and who very much wants to put his body inside her guard. Caleb returns while the other two talk to each other, and Alenka spends some time with Lairn. While drunk and amorous, Lairn is not malicious, though he is persistent. She does not harm him, and he "walks her safely home", where the image of a scolded half orc and a knight of the copper discourage any improper thoughts in the big man.

During this time, the pixie, having discovered that the only downside of stealing stuff as a pixie is a low max encumbrance, and lacking a bag of holding, decides to actually play the fucking game, probably for long enough to afford one. He did, however, find a small amount of aged (but also going stale) cheese- not fantastic, but definitely good enough. He spots Orchid, from far overhead, and drops (I think it was peanuts?) on her head. She cannot find her distant tormentor, but heads off to find a suitor- some questions in the world you just don't have time to answer. Bored of torturing humans, and hungry from the exertion, Rigby heads into a dwarven hut- Firehold dwarves, Ferdron dwarves, Hydrowall dwarves, and even a couple Icehold dwarves- it all comes down to, what kind of food, and is there cheese? After assuring the kindly dwarven matron that he can pay with actual gold and not by making everyone forget that there ever was a pixie (and their professions and loved ones), Rigby is served and eats his fill. On his way out, he is spotted fake-walking by Lithonian and Srelindel, who are still strolling about and becoming more interested in each other. Like in most romantic comedies, the secret always comes out: he was hoping it wouldn't come up that he was sent on a dream-quest by an ancient, powerful, and wise elven god, and this is to find a buzzed pixie moonwalking out of a shanty-town alehouse- and here it is, RIGHT on the date!

After accosting the pixie, the group heads out a bit, towards the east. They discuss what they believe is going on- without much to go on, it is not much- but all seem to have an interest in what is next. Interrupting this is a noise- the group meets Rooshcalloun, an 8 year old boy. With very pale skin and black eyes, he explains that he is running away, and is hoping that these warriors will take him far away from his seekers. He explains, ominously, that he is being trained to be mean, and he doesn't want to be. Rigby takes the opportunity to detect evil, the first of about 25 times that this ability will fuck the game up (this assumes the pixie dies by about 5th level- if he manages to survive, that number will be higher). The boy is clearly evil. Not wanting to serve as surrogate parents, and unwilling to strike down the dubiously evil boy, he is bidded good night, and he continues his travels- obviously, if you see an 8 year old in the woods, the thing to do is definitely don't get involved, these things work themselves out. The child is obviously an Umbran, and is obviously being sought out by his controllers. The fey creatures return to town, shaken a bit, but the topic of their mutual meeting is still of importance, and still not resolved.

...will be continued!

Very nice! I like the character recap.

I have a sense that, in time, I'm going to become very angry with these people.



Only in D&D can your pet rock actually fetch you the paper.



Would it be unethical for one fey to trick another fey into thinking that his god commanded him to give all of his possessions to the nearest pixie and then drink until he passes out?


And a statistical analysis proved that his min/maxing would have a 99% chance of success.


I don't think there's much doubt he's going to end up in a whorehouse. I just hope it's dwarven.


FAILURE?!?!?! FAILURE?!?!?!?!?!? I figure it will take me about a week to construct an invading alien warship hovering over one of your cities of weak-willed mortals. It will appear in a matter of 10 rounds, poking through the clouds. I will destroy your world!!!! Good luck interacting with that, asshat!!! (see above comment about deniers)

I'll show you failure...


A merchant who can afford a pixie slave clear is wealthy enough to have a couple tura gems sitting around. And if you didn't want a pixie character, you shouldn't have said the word "pixie" 119 times during the previous campaign and then specifically stated that pixies and hawkmen are allowed in this campaign.


Acorn. Peanuts are for peasants.


Sweetcheeks tends to be more trusting than others. It's endearing. And while Latukefu may be ancient and powerful, a wisdom above 4 would keep anyone from charging into battle at twice the speed of his compatriots.


There are so many mortals that it's difficult to remember whether the good guys are wearing white, black, or orange this decade.


I suppose I could have put him in a box and fed him nice grains for a few years until he was very tender and then sold him to some Italian orc or something, but that seemed a bit too mean. Taking the boy east seemed like an option, but one that would, ultimately, end poorly for me. Oh, maybe we should have taken him to the deniers. That didn't really occur to me until just now. Hm. I feel sheepish.


It damn well better be. I haven't gotten the first kill of the campaign yet!

Possibly! However, even though I've had them in for like 4 total games now, this is the first time anyone has seen one from closer than 100 yards. But then, the other games were set centrally. Besides, ultimately Zem got along fine with the Contellesians. And here their annoying counterspell school is, on another world.



Quite honestly, absolutely anything you do would have negative and positive repercussions. There was no getting out of that encounter without changing something. Don't worry about it!



Oh, I'm totally fine with a pixie character! But if you don't anticipate being mocked for being such a pretty pretty boy, you haven't been paying attention to these forums the last couple years. Or at least not the parts you wrote anyway

I seem to recall the Contellesians arrested me a couple times.




YOU WORE A RAINBOW CLOAK! I'm about as masculine a pixie as there could possibly be. It's not my fault I'm particularly dashing.

First off, it's "Doomhand", you nonces.


It's going to be fun when I hit you with a fireball and you explode into a shower of bitter, sparkly glitter.

I will poop on your head when you least expect it, talking rock.

Oops, did I just cast Enlarge instead of Reduce on you? Sorry I made you easier to hit. I'm sure that Glitterdust didn't help any, either. At least you're more sparkly now (as if that were even possible).

Too bad you just cast glitterdust and enlarge on what began as an invisible illusion of myself. That's why you'll never expect the poop on your head now!

And when the orcs that we should have been fighting put you in a boiling pot, I'll go find another pet rock to comfort me.

Poor dwarf...

No, I have quite a bit of money, thanks. Partially thanks to you.

That is our little secret...

...meanwhile, back at the temporary tavern that still holds two of the PCs:
Keichi and Morgrim drink and observe. They don't discuss too much of their personal missions, as while they are friendly to each other, neither has a good reason to trust the other yet. Eventually, the same half-Pallian, half-Arcatan prostitute that had solicited Morgrim on the way in seats herself next to Keichi. She hits on him pretty hard, even making it clear that she's not looking for a paycheck from him after Morgrim calls her a whore to all within normal range of his voice... but in the end, Keichi has no use for such women, and she is thoroughly dismissed. Mogrim, having done his job of making a hooker cry, eventually decides to head back before it gets too late. He carefully walks in the well lit areas, and glowers at any who would get close. Keichi, left with his thoughts, a world fair that he can't possible see enough to satisfy his goals, and nothing but a few "friends" who, for all he knows, may be opposed to his goals, thinks on his future, and drinks his last drink. As he is about to leave, an elf with dark hair seats next to him, glances sideways, and asks if he is urine. A bit of clarification later, and he's actually been asked if he is Urran. Upon Keichi's pause, the elf gives a codephrase in thieves' cant. A moment later and he turns and runs off. Keichi continues watching, and sees the tall, thin, black haired elf occasionally walk past and glance inward. Eventually another Pallian walks in (this one likely Kuromeran) and seats himself nearby, and orders drinks. Keichi can't tell if he's waiting for the elf or not, but eventually he leaves the situation when the elf has done one of his passes. Eventually, the elf, being convinced that that cruel extra Pallian that wrecked his plan is gone, heads in. Keichi sees some kind of deal from the shadows across the streets, and heads out at its completion.

Shortly after his return to the tent, the two elves come back. Srelindel is happily petting *something invisible* sitting on her shoulder. Looks like it would be about head height for a pixie. After brief introductions, Sean gurgles out a word of cancellation, concerned that perhaps the fair is being invaded by small invisible things that like cheese and being petted by kindhearted elves. He's mostly mollified upon seeing it's just a pixie.


And thus passes the first night. The elves chat a bit longer and trance, and of course are talking again a bit before dawn.

Proem 1:

This is the first day of the fair. Caleb returns with "a quest"- in this case, to help a merchant in town return stolen goods. The merchant, Eldrax Fesh, an older gentleman originally from Miara, owns a nice jewelry store in town. He's done a very nice business over the years, but some time ago he purchased some display pillows. Shortly after, his personalized pieces started selling quite a bit, and he created a bigger name for himself. Recently, there was a breakin- the display pillows were stolen. Just them. This was inconvenient, as while some of his more expensive pieces might be subject to some magical discovery of sort, his pillows would only be magically recapturable with the high level magics that make such things possible. Within a day, it was obvious that something was amiss: his sales plummeted during a time when his good should largely be sold out. The group goes to meet him to hear this story, and are initially rebuffed by guards who would like to hold their weapons. True to their role as PCs, they refuse to lay down their arms for nary a moment, nonmagical and nonmasterwork as they may yet be. Eldrax comes out and tells them his story. They agree to help. Orchid and Keichi scout dockside, based on the idea that sending two fighters to do a rogue's job is probably wise. Orchid takes the opportunity to try to flirt, but the resolute Gahn has no time for such nonsense. Morgrim and Caleb learn that the elf Keichi described is probably a reasonably recent addition to the town, Fellsanon Misbaluvian, likely in town around the time of the world fair. But it's Rigby who actually SPOTS him, from his vantage point. He signals Lithonian, and the two wait near a building in the docks district. The entire crew, rounded up by Lithonian, arrives by about noon, whereupon they stay a bit distant. The building in question looks like a bait-and-tackle shop, selling goods to fishermen. The fact that an elf went inside and seemed to disappear hours previous notwithstanding. Eventually, seven lightly armed men head out of the front door, and head straight to a cheap restaurant nearby. The crew quickly maneuvers to the back, and Alenka decides to take a poison blade trap to the hand. The entry room has a second door, and once through that they search about and find a hidden passage down. Knowing that a fight very likely lies behind the door, the pixie leads the charge (invisibly), making an illusion of the seven men he just saw heading down. He has them acknowledge it is, indeed, them. This disguises the opening of the trapdoor, and the heroes begin to prepare to deal death to all they see. To start the fight off right, Rigby has the image of the seven men walk forward, scream, and catch fire, while standing at the opposite ends of the room. Inits are rolled.

The fight is reasonably fast, but amusing: after the initial Round of Slaughter, some of the PCs take damage, realizing that their entire crew of opponents has a set of poisoned weapons, which the cleric becomes just super happy with. Morgrim charms one of the villains, who decides to help his new friends by giving a potion to Orchid, who for some reason was just struck down by one of his old friends. Why must everyone fight! Eventually, the crew is defeated. The charmed victim is told of easy money across town- he should go get his seven buddies who are out to lunch! Morgrim will handle getting everyone all patched up after this little scuffle! The PCs loot the body, the room, and indeed, pretty much everything except bait and tackle. They find one of the pillows.


...to be continued...

Apparently, disarming a trap is as foreign to me as Keichi's "ching-chong potato"...

Stupid dice.

You'll get better at it.

I guess you're going to have to figure out the CR of hell's worst fury and add one.


I'm clearly going to need make someone who is willing to pet me also invisible. I



Do I sleep or trance or what?


Fixed. You accidentally wrote the word "pillow," but in gaming you were referring to some sort of medieval display device called a "pellow."


Being the brave pixie that I am, I was not concerned.


I don't think rogues live long enough for anything to be considered a "rogue's job."


Steve is a good name. Peter, Barry, or Ryan are all good names. I can remember Barry. I cannot remember Fellsanon Misbehavin.


They all look like ants from up here!


She's trying very hard to become a martyr. I will help her as best I can. It's not like her species will remember her anyway.


Had I heard their voices, I should have had them sing drinking songs loudly so others could sneak in and get better surprise round attacks. Oh well.


Oh yeah, about that. Fuck you.


If you catch a ball that's thrown at you before it hits the ground, the player who threw that ball is out, not you. Plus, another player from your team gets to come back into the game.

It's a two-player swing.

Thanks, Patches.


I'm not saying that you've had a month to do this already, but... well, actually, you have. And I am. It becomes distinctly less useful once after the next time we play.

So much anger and hate in this campaign.

I keep trying to come up with "your character is a whore that is just going to make more stupid humans" jokes, but they never work out because you're actually having a kid. Reality is the death of comedy.

Hey, I'm just trying to make everyone appreciate their fortitude save! Until all the PCs routinely take Great Fortitude, there's clearly not enough poison saves. By the way, I think I told you guys it was the wrong stuff. It's actually Preserved Giant Wasp Poison. The game stats (DC 15, 1d6 Dex initial, 1d6 Dex secondary) are the same. I had said Greenblood, which is a weak Con poison. Just change the name! I also forgot to mention that once applied, it is potent for a week (normal poison is like an hour I think). I didn't forget to mention that there's an applicator for the arrows. Don't forget that poison use is an evil act! But one you can get away with from time to time! Depending, of course.


Sleep, I'm pretty sure. Despite being more fey than elves, I suspect you sleep a tiny sleep.


Well, elves aren't named Barry.

SO ANYWAY

...with the small band of smugglers (or small group from a larger band of smugglers.. who knows!) defeated and then finished off with stab wounds, the party, bloody, poisoned, and having just murdered a bunch of villains in their lair decide to head straight to the fair. Because nothing gets you in the mood for socializing with folks from across the world like murdering a local subset of people! Presumably, they cleaned themselves up. On their way back to the tent, they witness a lanky robed fellow yapping about magical-utopian ideals. He has little audience. The loot was moderately exotic for a bunch of level 1s, and included great quantities of a lesser magical ink. All of it went to Morgrim, because greed is what it has in its pocketses. I think it was here that Rigby saw a few spheres of muted darkness from the center of town fly directly up for awhile, then mostly head east: but it could have been on the 2nd. My notes lack here, my apologies.


The line to get in the fair was long, and it was early afternoon before they got there- hunting down and murdering smugglers having been brunch. On the way in, Keichi noticed that one of the men at the gate, an aged wizard inspecting the crowd as it entered, standing a bit away from the guards (and Deniers), was surprised at something when glancing at the group. The motion was subtle, the shock barely registered. Keichi, having no idea who the mysterious figure was, made a note of it.


Once at the fair, the group mostly spread out. Caleb set about learning about the state of exotic weapons and armor, as well as checking to make sure no one was selling exotic pillows out in the open. Axetober, who had arrived in the morning, had been competing in the arena battles- solo fights with weapons enchanted to deal no real damage, but to model combat as close as they could. Keichi also competed (and did not do so well), but the clear champion was the charming young Rigby, who managed to finagle a way to be allowed to be both invisible and flying (likely because he is naturally invisible and flying, and charming). He went through several rounds of combat, before being defeated by Thenrevious Hawk, a Dulian with winged boots and an electric greataxe (and some feats down the Blind Fighting chain). Rigby vowed revenge for this honorable defeat, giving me the wonderful opportunity to stat up a high level character for later.

The remainder of the crew, reminded of their occupations as professional murderers, go about searching for weapon upgrades, which are available quite cheaply at this sort of place. Lithonian pays to have his mother's composite longbow upgraded to masterwork- he uses a loaner instead while the upgrades are done. There are many speeches and presentations of interest to power hungry little adventurers. A wizard from Zem Tower details a new cantrip that has a chance to blind light sensitive creatures- an easy and somewhat effective defense from darkbonded creatures, Umbrans, and even orcs (this is a fort save or be blinded for 1 minute per level: even on a successful save, the creature is dazzled for 1 minute per level- it affects anything light sensitive: it is evocation [light]).

The rest of the day is enjoyed by all, sampling a few exotic novelties for food, moving about, watching a presentation on the nature of reality by the matronly Octessa Mellon from Zem Tower, and observing the remainder of the arena-style fight- the first day of arena combat is won by a tattooed monk, who, possibly for the first time in years, smiles.

Proem 2:

In the morning, the group heads to the fair again. Keichi sees the aged wizardly fellow and approaches him in private, asking why he was paying them attention. The old fellow gives him a stern look, but does not confess to any, you know, thoughtcrime. Instead, and surprisingly, he reaches into his robe and withdraws a scroll in a cylindrical scroll case. He tells Keichi to read the scroll "when faced with wholly unreasonable odds, an unwinnable fight". He bids him a good day, a prediction that is almost sure to come true. He is assured that what is on the scroll is not a spell, and can be read by anyone in the right situation.

After a fun morning, the crew realizes that they still need to track down the rest of the pillows, probably before Urran sells them to some other ludicrously named NPC, or worse, one with a bunch of levels in some broken class. Having no leads at the fair, they head back into town, whereupon they simply carouse about, meeting as many people as possible, and finding...

nothing.


Proem 3:

Not giving up, they head back into town. Alenka, over in the docks area, eventually hits a bit of serendipity: a fellow woman of similar ancestry (Terrymay Planter, also with Kelestran background). She's a bartender, and recognizes the description of Urran as a recent addition to the "Fishhead gang", a bunch of local thugs intent on climbing up the web of power. She describes two brutal brothers, a likely caster, and a bunch of hoodlums. She also points out a few places that they COULD be. Once this has been solved, Rigby, or INTELSAT01, heads up and immediately begins gathering information by pretending to crush the humans betwixt his tiny thumb and forepixiefinger. Eventually, he sees what he believes are the gang members and flaps lower, checking them, and following them. Keichi follows at a distance, and Alenka follows closer. Without much issue, they find three buildings in use, one of which is the hideout. Rigby places an empty permanent image at the doorway, and extending in. The group, still a bit injured and wishing to be fully prepared, rests, and discusses their coming raid tomorrow. Will they get to murder more? Will there be enough money when they loot the corpses to get glowing weapons yet? Will the blood of their enemies taste sweet, or will it be more reserved? And can Orchid possibly stuff any more cocks inside her?


Proem 4:

Even at level 1, fully prepared PCs are pretty much the ICBM of the adventuring world. They bust into the headquarters of the Fish Head gang, Caleb leading in several illusionary Knights of the Copper. The gang includes a fullblooded orc barbarian, who begins whiffing at illusion, Urran, a Kuromeran Ninja 2, a cleric of Buranan (as an aside, this was the clown who figured out that the pillows were magical), two rogues, and two fighters. The hideout is rigged with a falling curtain "trap" and a trapdoor that heads down to some corridors. Urran eventually decides to escape, murdering one of the thieves as he pulls down the curtain. Rigby follows and decides to Use Your Illusion II to force Urran back down into the underground passages- but this time, he gets away, using his ninja magic to cloak himself repeatedly. The fight features a very unsatisfying sleep spell cast by Morgrim, who only managed to trade his action for TWO of his opponents actions. I promise Morgrim, soon you will fight MANY more things! You can sleep them all! Or not, as the case may be.

It is Proem 4, in the evening. The group is mostly unharmed. The pillows were recovered, and their reward received. The fair lasts 6 more days. What is next?

WEAPONS FOR SALE:

All mundane weapons are for sale. Most exotic weapons are for sale as well. Some exotic weapons require magic to be wieldable at all: this includes the Mercurial Greatsword, Mercurial Longsword, Diablo, and Bazzak. Additionally all Turals (the spark weapons from Voriph) also don't work in an AMF. Because the Voriphan ships were delayed or lost, Turals will be really hard to find.

Exotic weapons you might not be familiar with:
(using these requires Exotic Weapon Proficiency in the weapon)
The Mercurial Greatsword deals 2d6 damage, and has a crit range of 20x4. This is one of the only x4 crit weapons left in the game. It is a two-handed exotic weapon. In an AMF, it counts as an "improvised weapon" only. But when not in one, the magically enchanted mercury moves in such a way as to maximize the impact of the weapon, moving to shift the weight and helping the sword defy simply physics with magic. This weapon, and its smaller cousin, both originate in central Zemnia.
The Mercurial Longsword deals 1d8 damage, and has a crit range of 20x4. This is one of the only x4 crit weapons left in the game. It is a one-handed exotic weapon. It features the same restrictions in an AMF.
The Diablo is a sword with a broad blade. It is a bit longer than a longsword. The simple enchantment on it largely makes it easier to maneuver: without that, a sword of this girth would be entirely ineffective. It likely hails from Queris, but no one is really certain: this weapon is a very rare oddity. It deals 4d4 damage, and crits only on a 20 (x2). It is a two handed exotic weapon. While these are for sale here, you will likely not see another unless you go to Queris. In an anti-magic field, it counts as an "improvised weapon".
The Bazzak is best described as a front-curved sharpened boomerang. In hand, it is wielded largely as a sword, its minor enchantment allowing for certain defensive maneuvers to be handled almost instantly (and thus bringing it from a liability to wieldable weapon). Thrown, its enchantment can sometimes return it to the user, though most enchanted Bazzaks are enchanted with returning, or a Tura gem that grants this effect more reliably. It deals 1d7 damage, and crits on a 19-20 (x2). It is a one handed exotic weapon with a 40 foot range increment. When thrown, if proficient, roll a d8. On a 1-3, the weapon drops to the ground within 10 feet of the target. On a 4-7, it returns to the wielder at the beginning of the next turn (or, if the weapon has returning, returns instantly). On an 8, it returns instantly. In an anti-magic field, it is really a good idea not not use this.
The Two Bladed Sword is as it is in the book. The minor enchantment makes it less likely that you will eviscerate yourself. Used in an antimagic field, this weapon is at -4 to hit, as you have to carefully not make your guts pool on the floor.
The Orc Double axe is as it is in the book. The minor enchantment makes it less likely that you will get one of the axeheads stuck in your own kidney. Used in an antimagic field, this weapon is at -4 to hit.
The Dwarven Urgosh is at it is in the book. The minor enchantment helps you not spike yourself in the dick. Used in an antimagic field, this weapon is at -4 to hit, as your engage in johnson-protection techniques handed down by ancient dwarved dickmasters.

Turals are wielded like melee weapons, strapped to the forearms, and the force of the movement of the wielders arms triggers the internal spinners, which generate the sparkfield. While they can be used for parrying, their actual hostile effect is a field of painful magic projected directly in front of the weapon. Turals can never strike critically. These are Voriphan weapons. Yellow Turals are made with yellow tura gems, and project a close field of yellow sparks that deals 2d4 damage. The circular mechanism is strapped to the back of the hand. This is a light martial weapon. Larger is the blue tural, in two parts, one strapped just behind the wrist. The blue tural, when swung, makes a somewhat frightening whining-whurr sound. The blue tural deals 1d12 points of damage. This is a one-handed martial weapon. Green and Red turals produce a diffuse and unreliable sparkfield, unless equipped with a guider held in a second hand. Green guided turals are a two handed martial weapon dealing 2d8 points of damage. Red guided turals are a two handed martial weapon with reach, dealing 2d6 points of damage.

Tura gems are for sale, or you can trade for more powerful ones. You can trade Tura gems by color with a small fee (about 50 gold, depending), but this trade is likely only available for unenchanted turas, or +1 turas. If your Tura gem matches your element, you gain a benefit. At 1st level, that benefit will usually be +1 damage of the appropriate element (sonic damage for earth (green), fire damage for fire (red), cold damage for water (blue), and electricity damage for air (yellow)). By third level, matching the color of your Tura gem will enable you to deal damage as if you had Elemental Burst I (or one higher rank of Elemental Burst if you already have Elemental Burst I or II)- this would normally be 1d6 damage for a weapon without said enchantment). Note that sonic damage is easy to hear (DC -5, or -2 to an already noisy situation, such as a battle), and electricity damage is also easy to hear (DC 0, or -1 to an already noisy situation, such as a battle). The fire and ice auras create soft crackling sounds (DC 15 base, like people whispering).


Additionally, all normal martial and simple weapons are for sale. You've already seen the houserules, but basically:

Katana is either a one handed exotic weapon or a two handed martial weapon. It deals 2d4 points of damage, and crits on an 18-20.
Falchion is a one handed martial weapon. It deals 1d6 points of damage. It crits x2 on a 19, and x3 on a 20.
Handaxe, Battleaxe, Greataxe, Dwarven Waraxe: These weapons enjoy a +1 to hit when charging. They also have +2 to sunder attempts.
Light Mace, Light Hammer, Warhammer, Greatclub, "Lucerne Hammer": These weapons ignore DR from heavy armor and adamantine. If a crit is confirmed, make a fortitude save of 10+1/2 character level + Str modifier or be stunned for 1d2 rounds.
Shortsword, Longsword, Greatsword, Two Bladed Sword: These weapons enjoy a +1 to hit versus larger opponents. They also have a +2 versus disarm and sunder attempts. These weapons can also be used as a different damage type at the expense of one die size: short swords can be slashing and deal 1d4, longswords can be piercing and deal 1d6, greatswords can be piercing and deal 1d8, and two bladed swords can be piercing and deal 1d6.
Rapier: +2 to feint attempts
Light Pick, Pick, Scythe: the critical bonus on these weapons is reduced to x3. This makes them not very good. Which, they shouldn't be, as they are all fucking tools shit I have a pick at home holy fuck why are these so good seriously a scythe i mean i have some dumb shit up this post but at least its not a goddamned farming implement and it takes magic.
Flail, Heavy Flail: These enjoy a +2 to trip and disarm, and can be used when tripping. If the enemy succeeds in a trip attempt against you, you can drop the weapon. These abilities are unchanged from the book: additionally, these can also be used to deal piercing damage as a weapon of one size smaller (flails go to 1d6, heavy flails to 1d8).

Removed weapons from the standard table:
Spiked Chain: I am so done with this.
Dire Flail: Seriously, picture two flails. omFg.
Hammer, gnome hooked: This is also ludicrous.

I think I can buy the other dumb shit with passive magic. But I just can't get around these three.

So you are saying that the lightsabre IS available!

Sweet.

I remember this, but I'm not sure if I wrote any of that down. I'll need to check my character sheet. If I didn't write it down, I hope you have some quantities in mind.


Nice.

It was enough to populate 200 pages worth of 0th, 1st, and 2nd level spells.

0th and 1st level spells take one page each.
2nd level spells take two pages each.

Your starting spellbook has 100 pages in it. You will find that many are filled already. You will always need to track which spellbooks you have with you, and preferably what materials they are made of so when I burninate them you can cry more.

The normal inks and unguents you use generically cost 100 gp per page, and each spell takes 1 page per level. I will provide more details on this once I have them ironed out because I don't like things that are cool to be left generic.

By the rules, copying a spellbook takes less of the expensive materials ("melancholy stardust" will be what I'm going with) that is normally mixed with the ink, but the same amount of ink. Copying a spell costs half as much as writing it down initially did. I sort of think this rule is dumb.

The default rules don't let you use a captured spellbook: you instead have to write everything down yourself. I'll also be modifying this one into a spellcraft check you can make and then memorize from a purchased, captured, or borrowed spellbook.

Trust me, you don't lightsabres running around.

Thanks John. Having barely played a wizard in the past, I will need to read that post several more times to become intimately familiar with the process.

What if he accidently the whole thing?

wut is this
i dont even

I feel like you're looking at me with that one. It might not be *good,* but "evil" seems a bit harsh. I mean, it's using an advantage on a blade to overpower your enemy... much like magic.



How about Berry?



I suppose this will make for a fun encounter later.



I assume this is the month right after Febtober.



I feel like pixies must be immoral. There's just no way they could resist this much fun.



Ok, so... Bond girl, right?



So it's a way out of the Kobayashi Maru?


Sounds like a stripper. I like it.



So I choked on my chai there.


This invisibility thing is really unfair.



Brie smothered on thick slabs of gouda.



So I can remove 50gp and swap my tura for an air one that will give me an additional +1 damage of electricity? Or does the (1-"usually") apply here? Also, I'm not sure what you mean by the DCs. As in... If I'm trying to be quiet I subtract 5 from my roll? Or is that a DC for a listen check? Further, since this would be on a bow for me, the damage would be dealt where the little bastard is standing, right?


So are you also throwing out the Pixie Hooked Hammersabre?

It's what happens when you skip verbs.

Actually, I'm not sure that's the original. It's just what came up when I googled.